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MINI
Manuals
A
Car Company With A Sense of Humor
Every
car comes with an owner's manual, but how many of them also have
an Unauthorized Owner's Manual? Plenty has been written already
about the innovative marketing campaign that has helped create the
new MINI brand, so I just want to mention two things I found particularly
interesting: the aforementioned Unauthorized manual and the Asphalt
Arts manual.
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| ABOVE: Use your MINI's
headlights to rescue kitty and find love. |
UNAUTHORIZED
OWNER'S MANUAL
The
Unauthorized Owner's Manual is a blend of hipper-than-thou humor
and interesting details about the car. Most of the information is
completely worthless; the point here is not education but style.
The message of the Unauthorized Owner's Manual is that MINI owners
can't help being cooler than other drivers (or, in British English,
motorists), and they need to just give in to the urge.
Still, there are a few interesting tips. For example, the headlights
of the car are attached to the bonnet (or, in American English,
the hood), which means you can use them as spotlights for
spotting stray cats in nearby trees. Also, there is a secret location
(which I will not reveal) where you can stash things for safekeeping
on the MINI's exterior.
I
have to admit that the Unauthorized Owner's Manual is a little disappointing;
the idea is better than the execution. After all, there are interesting
facts that a car's owner only discovers (if he discovers them at
all) after a period of trial and error. For example, I just found
out that if you press the RDS button on my BMW's head unit, it displays
the names of the songs and artists on the radio. That little bit
of wisdom took five years to discover. The MINI manual ought to
include more information along those lines. Still, I found it a
delightful read while I was waiting for my car to arrive.
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ABOVE:
Correct cornering according to Asphalt Arts. |
ASPHALT
ARTS
Thanks to its rally background, the MINI is
surrounded by the aura of speed. This effect is heightened by the
company's promotion of autocross events to MINI owners. It came
as a bit of a shock to me to find a car manufacturer recommending
that the vehicle be driven hard. I've left some dealerships with
the impression that they don't even want you to take it out in the
rain! But MINI promotes autocross on the corporate website and offers
the Asphalt Arts handbook as a guide.
This
book covers the basics, from proper seating position and proper
grip on the steering wheel to the fine art of heel-and-toe shifting.
It's enough to awaken the boy racer in anyone.
After
reading Asphalt Arts, I came very close to ordering one of the racing
jackets offered on MINI's Motoring Gear website, the kind with the
vertical stripes down the side like Speed Racer wore. I had myself
convinced that these stripes would be quite slimming, and that I
would not be laughed at by others for wearing the jacket. Fortunately,
Laurie laughed at me just for thinking about it, saving me from
months of humiliation.
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Download
the Unauthorized Owner's Manual PDF
(1.9 mb)
Download
the Asphalt Arts booklet PDF (2.3 mb)
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